J. J. Abrams did a right pretty job with his Star Trek reboot film last year. I figured that since it went so well he clearly must be working on a ‘Next Generation’ reboot as we speak! I’m sure it’s inevitable, so why not now?

Your perfect logic humbles me

I started to think about how young the cast of J.J.’s Star Trek was and I realized that a Next-Gen reboot would probably get the same treatment. That being the case, I figure that Jude Law is the only real choice to play Jean-Luc Picard. (I mean, right, duh?) I was going to go and photoshop up a bald Jude Law for you but then Google informed me that the internet had already done it!


How much more proof do you need? J.J. has already cast Jude Law for a ‘Star Trek the Next Generation’ movie! But let’s not forget the fun that youthful Anton Yelchin brought to last year’s film. How to replicate that success?

I lack emotions, but will still warm your heart

Why, with a Michael Cera ‘Data,’ of course! You can’t tell me that this image won’t haunt your dreams tonight! (Uhm, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?)

But this presents a problem. If the whole cast is 20-somethings, what do we do about Wesley Crusher? Well, you are very bad at problem solving, aren’t you!? This is really no problem at all.

Warp factor 4, Mr. Crusher! …
Uh, Mr. Crusher?

I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the cast yourself. But what about the Big E? What will the Enterprise look like in this new movie? Actually, not that different at all!

Just a bit more flare

Trust me. It’s really fantastic behind that lens flare. Totally amazing.

Those are the big points. The rest of the script pretty much writes itself at that point. I’m sure you don’t need me to explain it all to you. Oh, but there is one more thing I forgot about. This movie really needs to have a big-name star that kind of hangs in the background, giving invaluable advice that the main characters remember later at a critical point.

That character simply must be Mr. Mot. And the actor?

Don’t worry, everything is going to be just fine